Tuesday, May 30, 2017

They Abandoned Me - When Family isn't "Family"

Mom died 7/8/13 and Dad on 12/22/13.

Since that day... I have heard NOTHING from any other family member. Yes, you heard me right ... NO OTHER FAMILY MEMBER HAS CONTACTED ME (save for this) since 2013.

My ex turned most of my family against me before then and I think that some of them still think what he said was true and are holding that against me to this day when what he said was all manipulation and brainwashing tactics to get them on his side because he was abusing me.

But they don't care about that. They feel they are right in their abandoning of me.

When I needed them the most ... my family abandoned me.

I had just suffered a major heart attack, a divorce, losing my mom, and losing my dad. My family completely turned their back on me.


I truly do not understand why they did this. I was taught family was supposed to be there for one another. Truth is, they have never been there for me one bit.

They always shunned me and made me feel as if I wasn't part of them because I was the different one. I liked my metal music, my movies, my animals... they thought this was strange and none of them ever tried to see beyond that.

So why does this hurt you Martha?

Maybe it is because I tried to be close to them so many times only to have my heart broken over and over. I wanted my Family so we could make MEMORIES. I never wanted MONEY or ITEMS from them. I just wanted memories... and they denied that to me.

I see other people having their family moments and it turns my stomach knowing I lost out on having that for myself all because my family was to selfish to allow it to happen.

I truly do not know what I did wrong. I wish I did. Truth is... they don't care enough to even give me the common decency of letting me know what I did or why this has happened...

I've freed myself.

My "blood" has proven time and again that I am not up to their high standards. I have been heartbroken by them for over 30 years trying to jump through hoops to please them. Now... I don't try to please any body but MYSELF. I don't need their approval... I don't need their ANYTHING. I set myself free of the burden they placed on my shoulders and say, you know what?.... They aren't good enough by MY standards to be in MY life. This ends a struggle for me that has gone on for over 30 years... Finally the weight is lifted and I AM FREE.

1 comment:

  1. I ended up moving over 1000 miles away from my family thanks to my ex's, and I've been on my own and raised my kids mostly without family for all the years since. We stay in contact now, but I remain wary and am very careful with what I share. We are not close, we will never be. What I've learned is that family is the people who love you, care about you, and accept you. You cannot change what your blood family is or does, or doesn't do, but you can build a family with the people who really matter, the ones who are there for you. I have learned to find my support and understanding with the family I've gathered around me, it sounds like you are starting to do this too. Anger is a poison, it kills us slowly. Give up on what will never be and focus on what can be, I care about you! <3


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