Tuesday

AtoZ Challenge: U = Ugly


THEME: STORIES FROM MY PAST

U = Ugly

I've never claimed to be a beautiful person on the outside... I think my personality makes up for all my downfalls... or at least I hope it does. I wanted to take one post to point out all of my flaws... all the UGLY parts of Martha.

I bite my nails ... yea, sadly I have since I was 8 ... and I can't stop. Nail polish doesn't work on my nails either so it's a lost cause trying to make it look pretty.

I have a big nose. I've always hated my nose. German nose.

I am fat... and I can't help it. It's genetics and the medicines I take. Believe me I beat myself up about this far more than anything else. I have gotten used to the name calling cause I've been called "chunky" or "fat" my entire life.

I am short. Yep... 5'0" here.

My toes make a lot of popping noises.

My health... we all know I have LOTS of health problems... it sucks but I survive.

I don't like to lose but I am not a sore loser by any means. I won't pitch a fit but I am not real happy about being defeated in anything.

I am a glutton. I love food.

I get jealous a lot... can't help it. With what I've been through saying I have "trust issues" is an understatement.

I cuss a lot. Yea, from the moment I was a little 4 year old and the word "fuck" left my mouth.... I haven't stopped and don't plan to. I mind my manners in public but if I am comfortable I'll let 'em fly.

I crush over fictional characters and people I can't have. I think that says it all.

I want things to go my way in my favor... all the time and I get upset when they don't.

Since taking my depression pills my anger is curbed a lot but I used to have a temper.

My teeth are too big for my mouth. I was supposed to have braces at 12 but Mom and Dad couldn't truly afford them.

I am sneaky as fuck. Sneeeeeeeeeeak.

I worry too much.

I overthink EVERYTHING.

I have a big heart and I tend to get it hurt way to much.

I am over emotional, empathic, and highly sensitive.

I hold grudges.

I remember EVERYTHING. It's a burden and a curse sometimes.

I can't work because of my heart attack, asthma, and mental conditions.

I quote music and movies all the time.

I've trolled before and I'll probably do it again.


So there you have it.

2 comments:

  1. This is an extensive list for sure of things you don't like about yourself or things you perceive as negative but don't really care. My thought on it is that we all have things we don't love about ourselves, and sides to ourselves that others might not find endearing but we are ok with. Be true to yourself, love yourself flaws and all. If there are things you think need changing, and they can be, take steps to do it. If it doesn't matter all that much, let it go and embrace the many parts of you that are good and loving and caring and kind. That's the way I see you, a tender heart that hides under a shell of rejection. God made you beautiful and I am going with that. The rest doesn't matter, none of us are perfect. Use your gifts and talents to make others smile! :-)

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    Replies
    1. I think it takes courage to admit faults in one's self. I know mine... clearly. I don't care who knows them either. I embrace who I am. You have me down to a tee my friend. I am a tender heart hiding under a shell of rejection. I wasn't this way ... but others have made me this way. No one is perfect but a lot of people don't see things like you and I do... they think you have to do things a certain way. I am always the black sheep and the one swimming against the stream. It's more fun and exciting that way. I guess I am a natural rebel in some sense of the word. But for every one UGLY thing about myself... I bet I could list 10 or more things I think are beautiful about myself.

      Thanks my friend.

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