THEME: STORIES FROM MY PAST
F = FAMILY & FRIENDS
I don't want to make a sad post. I am trying NOT to be sad or angry or negative... but I do want to take the time to talk about FAMILY & FRIENDS.
Growing up I was always told FAMILY was important. I always thought that you should be there for family NO MATTER WHAT. When my Grandaddy (Mom's Dad) made us all come together for each Christmas up to his death, I always felt happy and excited to see my family. When Grandaddy died, those Christmases STOPPED.
When Mom and Dad died in 2013... my family... what was left of my bloodline decided never to contact me again and it hurt like HELL. As an empath and as someone who was RAISED to value family I was ... AM completely devastated at the notion of my family abandoning me and not caring about me at all. I am an only child, with my parents gone and my family abandoning me I feel lost in this world most of the time.
And that is all I will say about family... except.... I miss them.
I don't want to talk about EX husbands because to me their LIES and BETRAYAL made them not family but narcissistic parasites that tried to harm me. Someone who LOVES you will not do that therefore they were NEVER my family ... just wasted years in my life.
Friends come and go. You find out quickly who is your TRUE friend when bad things happen to you. Most of mine deserted me after high school.
Amy is one who did not. When Amy and I reconnected (she is MUCH younger than me and we lost touch after I graduated high school) she and I clicked once more and she is the BESTEST person I know in this world. She is always helping me and I could NEVER repay such kindness but she is the EMBODIMENT of what I've always thought a TRUE friend should be.
My only other "friend" is someone I call my SISTER ... Nightvixen. Shona and I met YEARS ago on livejournal and became friends. Then we fought. Then we became friends. Then some ass named NATHAN turned us against each other with lies... and once both of us SMART ladies found out we turned the tables on him and we've been friends ever since. We've never met in person cause she's in New Zealand and I am here in the USA in Alabama but we are always connected and I couldn't ask for a better sis than Vix.
I want to talk about Erin now. Erin is the most special person in my life. He contacted me during Mom's final days in the hospital and he's been here for me through every BAD thing since Mom's death on to this day here. Erin lost both of his legs to diabetes (one in 2015 and the other in 2016). I take care of Erin and help him out as much as I can (yes we live together). He makes me laugh, he makes me frustrated, and he lets me be myself which is more than ANYONE ever has done for me. I love him to death. XOXOXO
You can't chose your family. You can chose your friends but you have to be careful who you let into your life (I can say that because I've lived through so many friends who have betrayed me). Am I still close with any high school friends? No. We are acquaintances but I don't think any of them are my friend.
On a happy note... I might not have a lot of friends or family but what I do have I love with my WHOLE HEART .... if you are mentioned above know that I love you from the bottom of my heart and soul and I am ALWAYS here for you. Thank you for allowing me into YOUR life... I value the time we share no matter how long or brief it is.