Saturday, December 19, 2015

December FUNK

I've been sick for a little while. I feel run down and just... blah. Sorry for lack of posts and what not. I just have reached a little bit of what you'd call a stalemate in my life. I feel like there is a fog over me. I am not content with anything I do or say or accomplish.

 I am not happy with the food I eat or the way I spend my time. Even if I do something productive I find myself questioning the process. I think a lot of it has to do with the funk that comes from this month for me. The bad shit that happened in December just kinda clouds it.

I really hadn't thought about the bad shit from the past till RIGHT NOW ... but December is always a mind-fuck for me. It's a hard month.

When everyone else is celebrating with FAMILY and FRIENDS....

I remember I lost all mine. I lost all my friends thanks to my ex... and the only family that cared about me is dead and gone.

So again, please bare with me throughout December. It's a hard month with the both the loss of my child and father haunting this month... and a Christmas without my mother again is enough to push me past the breaking point.

So thank you for understanding.

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