Saturday, October 17, 2015

Saturday Madness


 
Well here we are... again.
 
Time for Saturday Madness.
 
 
For the last time kid from across the street, NO I don't have a cigarette, NO I don't smoke, and even if I did I don't know if I 100% believe you are getting it for your mom, and also even if I did SMOKE... Cigs are fucking expensive! QUIT ASKING FOR THEM! They killed my parents. I hate cigarettes.
 
Hey assholes who watched me carry 10 bags of heavy garbage over to the dumpster to throw away. I am not suppose to lift over 15 pounds so a little courtesy help would have been quite appreciated and decent of you instead you watched me like I was committing a crime and when I dropped the one bag, it split open... you LAUGHED. Fuck you.
 
Dear Cool Ranch Tacos from Taco Bell. QUIT FALLING APART WHEN I BITE INTO YOU.
 
Dear stomach, alright... look, I have enough problems without you messing up all the time. Why all of a sudden am I getting nausea at night? Really?!?! We gotta stop this.
 
Dear Right hand... last week I bitched at you and I finally had it. Went to the doctor now you are diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? Does this brace feel fucking good? Do you like having to make sure I pop pain pills to ease throbbing and so on? Thanks so very much right hand. You were my main hand. I like the left one so much better now. Jerk.
 
Echo, my tiny kitten of wonder... I love how you snuggle... I love how you look at me with curiosity in your eyes. What I don't like is you finding your secret poops and peeps places. Please learn location of litter boxes we have a variety of them for you to use and also piddle pads for those mother fuckers too lazy to jump into a big ol' litter box.
 
Sweetie, my darling girl... preggers again? Really?!?!? Well I suppose I should thank you for providing me with my kitty army... now to take over the world. *evil laugh*
 
Fridge, once again I say FUCK YOU for the 2nd week... you are useless. I'm gonna have to replace you and I have NO MONEY to do that. *sigh* you suck.
 
10 days. *sigh* Maybe 38 won't be that bad.
 
OMG OMG OMG Last Shift movie THANK YOU for being one of the BEST THINGS I'VE EVER RENTED FROM REDBOX!
 
Toby, my loo, thank you for being next to me every night, you are my sweet ol' grump. I love ya.
 
Tiny, you make me smile, thanks for all the snuggles this week when I've felt down and depressed. You make me feel important even if it is just to a little chihuahua, thank you for being my poops.
 
Jellybean, I am so glad I was able to heal the wounds you scratched on your neck due to that Dollar Tree collar. I am glad to see you scratch less, you look like you feel better, and some of your hair is growing back. You're even playing with Echo. I am so happy. I am glad I could help you.
 
Elder Scrolls... Imma get ya. I'm coming FULL FORCE. Loading up the Imperial City DLC (thanks Erin) and I am so gonna kick your ass. BEWARE!
 
Erin, Minecraft, Really?!?!
 
WWE NXT, Baron Corbin losing to Apollo Crews. REALLY!?!?! Fuck you. Baron deserves that title shot. You're blowing it... truly.
 
Still scared of the HELL IN A CELL with Taker vs Lesnar.
 
I have to give up soda again... I just have to... after I drink 1000 more.
 
WWE Supercard, you suck. It is impossible for me to get ANYWHERE ... this blows.
 
Bingo Blitz... Curse of FrankenBlitzy. Only 30 bingos in the room cause people aren't playing. I am one number away... ROUND OVER. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. Frustrating me to no end. Anyone who plays this. ADD ME. LOL.
 
 
Well that's all for now... see you next Saturday.
 
 

1 comment:

I will respond when I can. Thank you for your opinions and comments.