Friday, October 23, 2015

Martha's 31 Days of Horror - Movie Review: (2 for 1) Piranha (1978) & Piranha Remake (2010)

official trailer

1978 Cult Classic still makes me giggle to this day... and dread swimming in public waters

Something I realized last night while watching Piranha... it's just not as scary as it was when I was a child. I remember watching Piranha and thinking "Oh My God. You're not safe in the rivers or the oceans. If it's not giant sharks it's flesh eating fish". That terrified me.

Don't get me wrong. Piranha is still awesome and a cult classic. This is the first time I viewed Piranha since I was a child. I did it because I want to see the original before they release the remake on DVD this month.

One thing that got me laughing was the noise the Piranha made when attacking. That shrill little mini-lawnmower sound. I laughed so hard. What I loved was the fact that nothing was taboo. They went after and attacked small children. Awesome. Most horror or cult classics don't go there. Piranha did. Kids swimming in the lake... who cares? Send the Piranha in and let 'em feast. Thank goodness it's all in fun.

What really gets me is seeing a Piranha in real life. They say that Piranha are NOTHING like the movies portray them as. There is only one type of Piranha that can do the damage like in the movies... the Red-Bellied Piranha. Mostly real piranha eat what they can from fish to dead animals floating in the water and rarely attack humans... kinda like the Great White Sharks being compared to Jaws.

So Piranha seem to have the same fear factor as a Great White Shark does. All because of the movies. There is a small chance of being hurt by Piranha or a Great White Shark. However, the likeliness of this happening is slim.

But it is one reason to watch yourself every time you get in the water, huh?
3 out 5 Bloody Eyeballs

2010 A remake that doesn't SUCK
What can I say about Piranha aka Piranha 3D?

First it is NOT for the faint of heart... Lots of blood and guts people. Second, kids SHOULD NOT see this... it'd probably make their heads explode either from the blood and gore or the excessive boobage. Other than that, It's a remake that actually was good.

While it isn't true to the original Piranha, Piranha (3D as it was called) was actually really good at telling the story, delivering the gore, and making you laugh at the same time. The Piranha themselves... nicely done. They were CGI but BELIEVABLE CGI.

The cast was AWESOME. Very good acting. Well, what do you expect from Richard Dryfuss, Ving Rhames, Elizabeth Shue, Christopher Lloyd, Jerry O'Connell? Nothing but the best! And a cameo by ELI ROTH doesn't hurt either. Kudos to him for his scenes. Some great moments were Ving Rhames' sacrifice, Christopher Lloyd's climatic ending, and of course THE PENIS JOKE at Jerry O'Connell's character's expense.

I won't say more and give it away but ... If you are a fan of the first one, go into this one as if it were a new movie or you probably will hate it because it's nothing like the original. If you are not a fan but love Blood and Gore... and yea, lots o' boobie... SEE THIS MOVIE. It's fun and it's a well done remake ... re-imagining... whatever... anyway it is a MUST SEE.
4 out of 5 Bloody Eyeballs

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