I had this idea for a post. It came to me before sleep last night. I wanted to talk about how men are in relationships. I do know a little about this subject having been in lots of relationships of countless varieties including but not limited to 2 marriages and a couple of affairs.
I thought it was me when my relationships went bad. Now I admit to my fair share of the blame cause I am not an easy person to live with (I am a procrastinator and quite opinionated), however, I have come to realize the fault in most of the men I have chosen to have romantic relationships with. What is This fault so many men suffer from, you wonder?! Simple. They are simply men.
Now don't get me wrong, this isn't a hate post where I down men. No sir. I love men. Some men simply take my breath away... In a good way, others, not so much. Men are not as complex as women. We tend to over-think a situation until we exhaust ourselves not only mentally and emotionally but some times to the point of physical pain. Men do not. Some can, others are incapable of it.
Men get over things so much faster than women. Men tend to not let the "little things" get to them like women do. A man can not fathom the depths of emotions a woman can experience in a moment let alone a lifetime. If they can chances are, they are unique or gay (no offense cause gay men rock). Men that can not process emotions the way women do simply think emotions, feelings, sympathy, etc. are a waste of time.
Take for instance my ex. We will call him "Z" so that no one can say shit (so ha ha). Z didn't process emotions well at all. He hardly ever got excited for anything, you could never tell if he was happy or not, and when sad moments came, he never shed a tear. A small emotion of giving a damn was too complex for Z. He couldn't really give a damn about anything. Life with Z was bland, boring... And almost completely barren of love and happiness (hence why he is my ex).
Now I know I have issues with being over emotional at times. I suffer from depression so I have my bad days plus I am a Scorpio born in the year of the snake meaning I am overly passionate about things and sometimes I just rather shut down that deal with someone pissing me off (usually cause it takes a lot to piss me off but once I am pissed I can say some harsh things on a comeback).
Now most of my ex boyfriends and I didn't work out because I just really found something about them I didn't like be it attitude, habits, addictions.... And so I would sabotage the relationship so it would end or I would simply just ignore them till they got the damn hint. My marriages ended due to domestic abuse and that's all I'll say about that.
What I find hard to cope with now that I am single again is the way men think. 4 out of 5 men I've dated have only wanted sex. One even had a girl but was cheating on her leaving her to care for his kids by another woman and her two kids while he went off having sex with several different women. Sadly I found out the truth about him and again.... I sabotage it so the guy goes away. Especially one like that who cheats, once a cheater always a cheater.
I guess what I am trying to get at is that all the good guys out there are gay or so few in number that most of us women end up with several emotionless men who really are just sucking the life out of us. The good men go into hiding or end up with women who take them for granted while the good women who just want love are stuck out here weeding through the sex addicts and boys pretending to be men.
It's a sad, sad world ... Thankfully I don't have to worry about any of this because my mind is made up, I am happy with what I have, where I am, and I won't let any man take it away or jeopardize it in ANY way, shape, or form. I came to terms with what I needed in life... And nothing I need is materialistic. I simply need someone to give a damn.
Sadly, the age of anyone giving a damn beyond their own interests is coming to an end. Fairy tales lied. There is no happy ending and the princess has to save herself... And I would rather save myself than drown cause of the lack of attention span or devotion some men demonstrate.
In the end, all a woman in this day and age can depend on is her Mom and if you've lost yours like I have, you only can trust yourself. Women have to make up for men in so many things but for me it seems lately... It's also a woman having to go beyond normal means (and I don't mean cheating) to get the affection she deserves.
I mean, is love too much to ask for these days? Or was I raised old fashioned?
I sit here shaking my head thinking about the men who have come and gone in my life and I can tell you this, I wish I had been smarter about love. I wish I could have said "NO" more and valued my own self worth more in all of my relationships instead of putting "him" first.
Ladies, you got to know how much you are worth. Your value is something that can't be measured in materialistic bobbles. Your worth is more than that. It should be measured in hugs, kisses, cuddles, and little things that make you smile. Then this life is over (and believe me my parents dying back to back in 2013 showed me how short life is plus my own mortality was put into question with a heart attack at age 34) it's the moments we share together that mean something.
That is what I am trying to express in this post. Women need to know that they are worthy of every ounce of affection and attention they crave and men need to learn to value women and show them that value. Women are not just something you stick your tallywacker in. Women are more than that. We are your rock,men. You lean and depend on us for more than sexual satisfaction. Without women, some men's worlds would fall apart.
Men, value your women. Be it your wife, mom, daughter, grandma... Women do more than you know, because most of the time we shoulder things and tell no one what chaos we've had to deal with. So when you come into a relationship and you lie, cheat, or are emotionless, you suck the life, the heart, and the soul out of a woman. Don't do that. Be happy with the love every woman offers you because a woman does not offer her heart lightly. Take time to cherish every woman in your life because they are there to make you a better man. Take time to do the little things, be nice, don't cheat, don't lie. Show the women in your life they are worth more than they could ever know. Do it now because One day those moments, chances will be gone and if you're not a heartless bastard like my ex Z, you will regret the things you didn't do.
Fix your give a damn, men.
Women need you.